Japan's nuclear meltdown

I grew up with the threat of nuclear oblivion. I remember 3 Mile Island, Chernobyl. I've paid attention to the times/places developing nuclear material. I have really good friends and family members who relied on nuclear for work or service. I remember interviews with survivors of Heroshima and surviving tourists watching tests in the deserts of the southwest.

I watch what's going on in Japan, and I mourn for the innocence of a generation behind me, who didn't really, really understand how sticky and dangerous this stuff is. For the dust that will fall all over the world and how that will change, in little and large ways, our globe and our global awareness.

I turn inward and send my thoughts and deepest intentions for a healthy earth, for peace.

Socks

I've been knitting socks. Like crazy. I am on a "pre-40" quest to bring my lifestyle, health, and body, in alignment with my interests and ability to keep up with my Tot.

This isn't the time to buy clothes.

So I'm knitting socks.

People think it's amazing that I'm knitting socks. We have a Monday noon craft time here in our building, and people are so excited that I'm making them, they are really almost freaked out. I've been literally knitting since I was... 10 or so. And doing all kinds of other tasks long before that, including crocheting book marks for everyone in the world, and making corkscrew things for one of my dad's projects (snakes for Medusa. Really.)

So, here's to my quest to wear only hand made socks until I have to buy a whole new wardrobe....

Friday. Finally.

I'm traveling for work this weekend and into next week. I'm turning over the keys to my mom and hopefully my daughter will eat and sleep enough while I'm gone.

I'm going to refill my music player, load up the socks I'm working on, and enjoy the long travel day getting out of Iowa to get to the east coast for a one day conferece, then a travel day back home. Detroit has not been my friend in the past.... we'll see how this one goes. Ever the optimist, it should be ok, right? I'll get to sleep without having to keep an ear open. Sigh. Sounds marvelous. That and grown up drinks. Woo hoo! I can tell it's been a while that I've been the single mom.

I'm looking forward to the ever so slight warming of temperatures so that I can really think about the garden. And getting out to paint.

Painting has been missing as I've been tending to my almost-two-year-old. It's something I haven't quite made peace with doing for only 10 minutes at a time. It takes 10 minutes to set up. We'll see how it goes now that she's getting bigger. I figure bells on her shoes, a bucket to put stuff in, and I could have a few more than 10 minutes at a whack!!!

Until then, knitting, music, and lovin' my chica...

One pair off, one pair on...

Socks. I've decided I'm going to knit a ton of socks. Use up much of the yarn I've been hanging around with. Until it's painting season, then, I'm afraid, my little friends will be either benched or I'll have to switch to cotton.

I've knit enough that I can actually form the socks to my liking, but not enough that I can make one up from scratch. I'm loving the ones I have on, though. I was able to complete them without once having the needle yanked out by my Bambina.

My mitten thumb was not so lucky. I had a hole in my mitten. Which, after about 10 years, is probably ok. So i first did the honorable thing and darned it.... and was two stitches from done, felt the thumb with the double thickness of worsted weight and thought, "I could just reknit a single thumb." So I cut off my thumb....

Now I have (nearly) perfect mittens again, happy feet, and itchy fingers.... come on lime green socks!

Connecting to creativity & caring

I've been knitting a ton, recently. Socks and hats. Haven't knit a scarf in a while, but there's another one (several) in me.

I care. A lot. And I'm really creative. And when I'm doing a lot of both, I find I need to do as much or more for me. So I've been caring for the physical space I live in. I've been tossing, recycling, removing stuff out of our house. I've been there for almost six years with the random haul out in between. But stuff creeps in, as stuff is wont to do. So I have to get stuff out.

I'm going to turn 40 in a few months. And I'm determined to really deeply "get" caring for myself. For my own sake, for my body's sake, for my soul's sake.

My reward will be a child who does the same for herself.

A list of "must dos" and now I have to write my own...

List of Must dos -- from someone else. It's an interesting list! 22 I have yet to do that I'd like to or might actually do! A few -- No thank you.

1. Started your own blog. Check
2. Slept under the stars. Frequently
3. Played in a band. sort of.
4. Visited Hawaii. Not yet. But I do have a great reason
5. Watched a meteor shower. Wonderful
6. Given more than you can afford to charity. Yep
7. Been to Disneyland/world. Yes. Like to return. Not sure this should be a "must"
8. Climbed a mountain. A small one
9. Held a praying mantis. Among other things
10. Sang a solo. Yep
11. Bungee jumped. No thank you.
12. Visited Paris. Not yet. Cool other places, though
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea. Yep
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch. Often
15. Adopted a child. In my heart, several times.
16. Had food poisoning. yep
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty. I wish
18. Grown your own vegetables. Yep
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.
20. Slept on an overnight train. Yep
21. Had a pillow fight. Yep
22. Hitch hiked. Yep
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill. Not in a long time
24. Built a snow fort. So many fun things to do in the snow.
25. Held a lamb. And baby horses
26. Gone skinny dipping. Delicious
27. Run a marathon. Not on my list
28. Ridden a gondola in Venice. Not yet. I'd rather take a boat down the Erie Canal
29. Seen a total eclipse. so cool
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset. Almost every day
31. Hit a home run. :-)
32. Been on a cruise. Long, long ferie ride.
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person.
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors. Like to go to Norway, too.
35. Seen an Amish community. Frequently
36. Taught yourself a new language. Yah.
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. Sometimes. Most of the time, really
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person. eh -- it's on the same list as Mona -- maybe
39. Gone rock climbing. No thank you.
40. Seen Michaelangelos original David-- it's on the same list as Mona
41. Sung Karaoke. Outside of Red Wing, MN among other things
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt. Can't wait!!!
43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant. :-)
44. Visited Africa. ... wow...
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight. moonlight feels nice.
46. Been transported in an ambulance.
47. Had your portrait painted. by some lady in the mall, from a picture... kind of
48. Gone deep sea fishing. no thank you.
49. Seen the Sistine chapel in person. Always wanted to see it.
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris.
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling. This is the best.
52. Kissed in the rain. warm rain, cool rain
53. Played in the mud. Mud volleyball
54. Gone to a drive-in theater.
55. Been in a movie. -- video game.
56. Visited the Great Wall of China.
57. Started a business. mine and others
58. Taken a martial arts class.
59. Visited Russia.
60. Served at a soup kitchen.
61. Sold Girl Scout cookies. I rocked
62. Gone whale watching. saw a whale from far away
63. Gotten flowers for no reason. of course
64. Donated blood. been a while, but yes.
65. Gone sky diving. No.
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp. visited a torture site.
67. Bounced a check. sigh.
68. Flown in a helicopter. Nope.
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy. Yes...
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial. can't wait.
71. Eaten Caviar. Yum, yum, yum..
72. Pieced a quilt. for my daughter.
73. Stood in Times Square. walked it several times hand in hand.
74. Toured the Everglades. if it's still wet, I"m going.
75. Been fired from a job. Once.
76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London.
77. Broken a bone. arm
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle. Weeeee
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person. critical story in my life...
80. Published a book. self, textbook, and in actual published books
81. Visited the Vatican. eh.
82. Bought a brand new car. don't care
83. Walked in Jerusalem.
84. Had your picture in the newspaper.
85. Read the entire Bible. lots of other religious texts and much of the Bible.
86. Visited the White House. Not yet
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. Yep.
88. Had chickenpox. itchy
89. Saved someone’s life. yes.
90. Sat on a jury. Guilty
91. Met someone famous. :-)
92. Joined a book club.
93. Lost a loved one. lost, found, lost, life, death
94. Had a baby. cool to do if it's important to you, no matter how the baby comes to you.
95. Seen the Alamo in person.
96. Swum in the Great Salt Lake.
97. Been involved in a law suit.
98. Owned a cell phone.
99. Been stung by a bee. several times. Once, six times on my face and head.

Beloved hat and growing brains.

Some days, it's a good day to stay home and sew in all of the knitting ends from a quite fancy color work hat... Reknitting a hat that I love, love, loved and is now lost is more emotionally difficult than I would have thought. But it is difficult. Has been. I did have the opportunity to make it a little deeper so it covers my ears better in the northern clime I now find myself in. It's improved and I like that, but I wondered if, in the end, I'd like this hat as much as I liked the first. I might just like it even more... I'll know when the ends are gone, tassle made, and it's washed, blocked, and dried (the latter is soooo important for knitting, and I skipped this step for years.)

I did not in fact stay home. Not today.

We each make our own reality. In difficult situations, we make our own reality. I learned yesterday that an hour of exercise three times a week makes your brain grow. Literally. And it makes the connective stuff in your brain healthier. So the brain thinks better, reasons better. Teens don't have (as much of) the connective stuff in their brains to tie reasoning with decision making. They are incapable of quickly seeing the implications of decisions. And the "resting brain" is the part that's self-focussed and daydreams. Teens spend a lot of time there...

I think about this for myself, for my grown sibs, and for my own child. To actually know what's going on in our brains is amazing.

My new beloved hat awaits me at the end of the day, after the baby is sleeping and before I join in with my own zzzzzzzs.